Pop Goes the Dream (The End of My Journey?)

by Kenny Eller on February 1, 2011

My Injured Leg

My leg iced up, right after I got home.

Something No Athlete Ever Wants to Feel (How it Happened)

I got the ball on the wing, faked right, exploded left.  It was game number four of 2-on-2 this past Sunday.   As I planted my right foot and pushed off trying to drive past my defender, I felt a pop in between my right calf muscle.  I couldn’t tell you what happened to the basketball.  All I know is I felt something no athlete ever wants to feel and my feet grew roots.  I couldn’t move.

After a few minutes, I hobbled over to the side of the court and sat down on the first row of the bleachers.  I leaned over, with sweat dripping off my face, held my leg with both hands, closed my eyes and prayed.   I know the guys were talking to me, but I couldn’t tell you what they were saying.

I think my brother and I were born with a pretty high tolerance for pain.   My brother once broke his big toe playing around at the house and then went and did a 2 hour basketball practice as a kid.  He knew it hurt, but didn’t know it was broken until he got home and took off his shoe to find a black and blue toe.   With that tolerance and the fact that I don’t like people to worry about me, I did my best to mask what I was feeling and encouraged the guys I was playing with to go have a 3-point contest.

I sat there, almost motionless as they shot, trying to stay upbeat and positive.  Deep down I feared the worst.   Is this how my journey to to play Michael Jordan would end?   How badly was I hurt?   If I’m hurt badly, which I have never been before in my life, could I deal with the rehab involved?  Was this my nightmare coming true?

As I watched them shoot ball after ball, I wished I could be out there.   Through my frustration, I did small self checks by moving my ankle and my knee.  No pain.  Just a sharp pain all around my muscle area.  I breathed a sigh of relief.   The positive side of me, the believer in me, prayed I would be healed.  I couldn’t go out like this.  I would never give up.   This couldn’t be how the story ends.

After watching the shooting contest, I made my way to my car, by taking a step with my good leg and then slowly moving my bad leg.   The guys offered to help, but I didn’t want to be helped.  I said my goodbyes and drove slowly to the closest pharmacy to get some pain medication.   By the time I got there, it was even worse.  My range of motion seemed to be going.   I hobbled through the store and to the cash register only to hear a worker make a poor joke about my injury.   I didn’t turn around, even though I wanted to beat him like a pinata.  I was angry.  Angry that this happened to me.   I knew he didn’t know my situation though, so I did my best to stay calm, thanked the lady who was helping me and slowly made my way to the car.

Scared

I got home and family and friends were calling to check on me.   Everyone feared the worst and while I appreciated their concern, hearing terms that rang up 6-12 month rehab sessions scared my soul.   I thought of NBA players over the years with injuries.  Fear wrapped me up.

A buddy of mine asked me how I was doing through twitter and I sent him a direct message back.  I was scared.   We conversed back and forth.  I told him everyone is talking major ligament/tendon damage and it’s freaking me out.   His response of, “probably best not to listen to anybody until you get it checked out,” eased my worry.

Still I made a call to a local emergency clinic, but they were unable to do any kind of test that would show damage other than a broken bone.

I sent a text to a friend I knew who was around the game at the highest level and would probably know better than anyone what I should do.  He asked me some questions, then walked me through the steps I should take and gave me advice on when I should go to the doctor.  He basically said it could be bad, but said to just to give it some time and take proper recovery action immediately.  I thanked him and felt somewhat better.

My wife, who had been out with some friends, got home shortly thereafter.   As she walked in the door and towards me, my eyes welled up with tears and I began to cry.  I was overwhelmed.

My Passion

If you’ve been following my journey, you understand how passionate I am about what I’m doing.   This isn’t a joke or ploy to become famous or make money.  This is my PASSION!   I felt I was making so much progress lately and now with the new gym, the sky was the limit.

I had a 1-on-1 match-up scheduled for this coming Saturday and was working on finalizing a 1-on-1 match-up with a very cool opponent that might surprise you.

I was at the rec center I just joined anytime I had time, so much so that one of the girls working there said this past week, “So you’re pretty passionate about basketball, huh.”  I guess that’s what happens when you stay longer than anyone else, until the gym is empty, just working on the game.  I honestly only leave the gym because I get so hungry that I can’t stand it or because I have to work or some other responsibility comes up.  I love every single part of it.

Dealing with Another Setback

After sitting in the same position on the couch, legged kicked up and iced on and off for eight hours, I took some more pain medication and made my way to bed with a pair of crutches my brother dropped off for me.   Before I did my best to fall asleep, I laid in bed and prayed that I would be healed.   I told God I would work even harder at my journey if he would only allow me to work.

I drifted off and only woke up a few times Sunday night.   Every now and then I would move the wrong way and feel a sharp pain, otherwise it was a good night’s rest.

I woke up Monday morning, not healed, but no worse.  With a heavy heart, so thankful, I smiled.

So I’m still on crutches.  I’m still icing it.   Still unable to walk or even put any pressure on it, but extremely optimistic that it isn’t major damage, but only a temporary setback.  If I don’t see anymore progress by tomorrow, I’ll be making my way to the doctor.

No matter the outcome, I WILL NOT QUIT!

I want to thank everyone who has reached out to wish me well or pray for me.  It means a lot!   This won’t be the end of my journey, I promise you that!  If I have to, I will hop on one leg and play Jordan.

Until I can move again, I plan on working on my ball handling while sitting in a chair.   I may even try to make it to the rec center later this week, just to sit on the court and be around the game.   I’ll do some updates through twitter (@KennyEller) to let ya know my progress.

As always, thanks for the support and for following along.

{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

Shane Turk February 1, 2011 at 8:06 am

Best post ever, Kenny. You are an inspiration bro. You do not quit and that is the ultimate sign of a champion. I am praying for a quick recovery and I look forward to balling with you soon.

Reply

Kenny Eller Kenny Eller February 1, 2011 at 12:06 pm

Thank you so much Shane! I really appreciate you man! Thanks for the prayers!

Reply

Jim Kerkvliet February 1, 2011 at 8:53 am

I pray for your continued recovery with this issue. As I was reading through this most recent post, my mind wandered off to some passages in Exodus. I listen to the podcast of the Daily Audio Bible – dailyaudiobible.com – and the reader Brian Hardin is currently reading through Exodus. Over the past couple of days of readings there have been many exchanges between Pharaoh and Moses, where Moses would initiate one of God’s plagues, and Pharaoh would agree to release the Israelites. Then Pharaoh’s heart would harden and another plague would be set in place. In Exodus, God could have arranged for the Israelites freedom after bringing on the first plague, but instead He chose to bring many examples to show both Pharaoh and the Israelites his greatness.

I am not trying to say here that your injury is the same as a plague in Exodus. What I am trying to say is that Michael Jordan could have received word of your plight after the first couple of posts on your web site, and an arrangement could have been made right away for a one on one match up. Instead, a few road blocks have come along the way. There has been an opportunity to receive teaching and to teach others. The web site has provided some opportunities for others to ponder, and research similar road blocks that may have occurred in their lives as well. It has served as a useful tool. But experiences are needed to be able to serve as a useful tool, and that may not have happened with the immediate reward of a one on one match up with MJ.

Continue on with the journey with His blessing.

Reply

Kenny Eller Kenny Eller February 1, 2011 at 12:09 pm

Wow Jim, amazing point! I’m humbled to be thought of in that manner, but I do agree. Thank you so much for the support and prayers!

Reply

Nate February 1, 2011 at 9:35 am

My favorite thing about what you do here is how positive you are about everything, even setbacks like this. Just hang in there and things will work out! This will just be a part of the story.

Reply

Kenny Eller Kenny Eller February 1, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Thanks Nate! I really feel so much of life is perspective. I have two choices. I can be happy and positive or I can be sad and negative. I’ll always do my best to be the first. Thanks for the encouragement! I appreciate you!

Reply

Charissa Eller February 1, 2011 at 12:01 pm

Very well written. You can definitely feel the emotion that was going through you. I am so happy you are doing better today:-)

Reply

Kenny Eller Kenny Eller February 1, 2011 at 12:12 pm

Thanks! Yes, every little bit of progress is a reason to be thankful! The power of BELIEF and positive thought has no limit! Thanks for taking care of me!

Reply

Mark Powers February 1, 2011 at 12:54 pm

Kenny- so sorry to hear about the injury, dude. But you’re not taking ‘no’ for an answer attitude is inspiring, to say the least. Get yourself well quickly!

Reply

Kenny Eller Kenny Eller February 1, 2011 at 6:42 pm

Thanks Mark! Appreciate the support bro! Thank you!

Reply

Maruxa Murphy February 1, 2011 at 1:33 pm

Kenny, I hear the emotion in your voice as you write. Thanks for being so authentic, so real. It’s really frustrating, overwhelming – I can imagine.

One thing I know has helped me overcome my own obstacles as I’ve been pushing forward to reach my goals is the idea of flowing in and with the resistance. I’ve been practicing the idea that if I reach for my goals and dreams, it will take me where I’m supposed to go. AND if when I reach for my goals and dreams, it opens doors to other new and life-changing paths (that weren’t expected and/or not necessarily where I wanted to be in my wildest dreams!) who am I to have doubted the path that led me there?

I say that as encouragement and know that the Plan that is meant for you and me and us all is often bigger and more amazing than ANYTHING we’d ever thought was possible. It’s about being led by your dreams and goals, and at the same time being open to what each step closer and/or what seems to be a setback can lead to an even more amazing journey ahead!

Love ya Kenny. We’re cheering you on from Houston!

Reply

Kenny Eller Kenny Eller February 1, 2011 at 2:38 pm

Thanks for stopping by Maruxa! I appreciate the kind words and the encouragement. I like how you look at things! Thanks! 😀

Reply

Yvon Bayonne February 1, 2011 at 8:15 pm

Hi Kenny!

Sorry to hear that you got injured. I hope you get passed through all this and that you’ll be ok to meet your goal.

All the best

Reply

Kenny Eller Kenny Eller February 1, 2011 at 8:38 pm

Thanks so much Yvon! I really appreciate it man!

Reply

Kellie Kowalski February 1, 2011 at 11:12 pm

Oh no! Sorry to hear about your leg. But way to stay positive! This is definitely not the end of the journey for someone this driven. You’re in my thoughts amigo!

Reply

Kenny Eller Kenny Eller February 2, 2011 at 7:40 am

Thanks Kellie! Much appreciated! Still on crutches, but a lot to be thankful for.

Reply

Kristin February 8, 2011 at 11:48 am

With a Jordan Family Tweet, all your hard work, and all the people who want to see you play MJ, too — it has to happen.

Here’s to a quick healing. Looking forward to what’s next!

Reply

Kenny Eller Kenny Eller February 8, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Thanks Kristin! I really appreciate the support! Hope you are well!

Reply

Leave a Comment

{ 11 trackbacks }

Previous post:

Next post: